Metamorphose to Positive Living

This phenomenon of comparing yourself to others is often in the social context of competition or comparison. Jealousy or envy are secret emotions. Thus, these emotions metaphorically have invisible measuring yardsticks that come out when feelings of being less than someone rears up. Why would someone desire to have the life of someone else?  Generally, pressure is being in a position of always trying to be someone you are not. A significant way you define yourself has to do with ideas, ambitions, and what you value. How you measure yourself is likely to change as you mature and as you learn to evaluate your potentialities and accept your limitations. It is important to keep realistic ideals that you can generally live up to. Perhaps your self-regard will not be threatened by a need to compare your life if your ideals are not exaggerated, and you can reach them.  Most importantly, learning to love yourself unconditionally is necessary to hold an ideal image of yourself and to a...

 It was 1989, the beginning of my sophomore year of college. I was overwhelmed with so many personal issues that I wanted to quit college and return home. I felt defeated. It was a lonely feeling because I was the first in my family to attend college. My family could not relate to how much pressure I was under at the time. My courses were demanding. I had little money and barely surviving on my part-time job’s minimum wages. The anxieties of balancing college, work, and personal issues nearly crushed my dreams. I was ready to throw in the towel. I could not see how any of it was worth anything.  Thank goodness I had a very supportive gentleman friend and a positive influence. After hearing of my struggles, he talked me out of quitting. I needed that positive force to stay on track. I desperately wanted to give into my pains and take the easy road out. He helped me see the positives of being the first to graduate college in my family. This pivot point changed the trajectory of ...

Let me share a moment of my truth. As a young girl, I loved my mom unconditionally. As a single parent, my mother was loving, caring, and resilient. Once I became a young adult, I found myself judging her parenting, lifestyle, and decision-making. It put tension in our relationship. After seeking much self-help through my church and counseling on the issue, I realized I was the one in anguish. My relationships would suffer if I continued putting judgments on people. Mainly, I longed to be at peace with my mother. I had to be self-aware and call the elephant in the room what it was “judging her.” I have flaws. I am not free of making poor decisions. Consequently, I had to see myself reflected in that judging mirror. After I decided to focus on myself and not focus my energy on judging others, my life has been less stressful. Why are we looking at judgment relating to self-care? Primarily, the goal is to decrease stress and increase our well-being. Many research studies indicate a relati...

One thing for sure, we will never be able to avoid having some difficult times in our lives. I can assure you that painful moments will arise out of nowhere. Not a day goes by that I have not either read something on social media, peered at a news story, or had a friendly conversation with someone that offered some sort of miserable information.  The sun will shine beautifully many days. Nevertheless, eventually, a rainstorm will blow through. Naturally, seasons change. Just like in our daily lives, changes transpire. However, we can decide how we grasp and react to the changes. I wish I had the magic formula for gleeful days every day. Well, I’ll tell you, I do not. Nonetheless, I can share with you that we can live our best lives through rain and sunshine. It truly is a conscious decision to live our best lives despite what seems gloomy in the present. Russel M. Nelson has a quote, “The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the...

We need to get out of life more than we do. Improving our quality of life starts with taking control of our purpose. Let's attempt to survive, manage, and regulate our daily stressors. Balance is needed. If we go too far off the deep end into negative thoughts and feelings, depression and anxiety take effect.  Part of living a cheerier life is to let go of a limited outlook on being happy. Repeatedly, we permit our minds to believe we do not deserve joy. Yes, we are our own sabotages. As a man/woman, think it is how he/she will act accordingly. It is a thought-out, rehearsed behavior of replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Therefore, engaging in intentional activities to become significantly happier is essential. I am of the age where I desire to be at peace, loved, and grateful. This whole notion of always having a happy belief system provides me with an enormous source of stability. Yes, I am on a quest to live a balanced lifestyle. An existence that provides more ...

How we see the world impacts how we feel, think, perceive things, and even our relationships. Many of our worldviews were shaped over the years by our life experiences. These experiences can span over time. For example, from our first days of kindergarten to our first high school crushes. It is collected moments over many years that influence views of people and feelings from those relationships.  I believe it to be essential for people to uncover deep meanings to their experiences in the world. These experiences create opportunities for healing and for hope as old self stories are rewritten and new ones are imagined. My experiences as the oldest of four girls shaped my parenting of my two sons. I tend to correct my children's behavior using examples with metaphorical language and many narratives to explain how they can improve their behaviors. I do this because of my experiences from mothering my siblings. My brain autopilots to what happened in the past and projects to the curren...

I must confess that I  needed to take a mind shift for the last couple of days. As I prepared for my work week, many uncertain and potentially negative thoughts ran rapid. Naturally, I wanted to linger on those negative thoughts and feelings. My heart started to feel a type of way. My mind was at war with my peace. However, I had been preparing for a time such as this. My daily positive activities were ready for this war. My Twitter feed was on fire with positive quotes and affirmations. The pastors I follow were pouring out encouraging words. Facebook had beautifully expressive pictures with happiness quotes galore. At that moment, my mind started to shift. My daily positive mindfulness exercises were doing what they were supposed to do. I could feel the joy coming to my heart. My mind could not engage in that downward fall it had so desperately wanted to indulge. Researchers Sonja Lyubomirsky and Kristin Layous (2013) found that cheerful activities are positive for an individual ...

I can tell you firsthand how I arrived at this epiphany of developing a lifestyle of having more happy days. After 30 years as a public school educator slash administrator, I was exhausted. I complained daily. My very patient husband listened to my moans and groans regularly. It saddens me to report this, but it was a constant gripe session.  In my honest opinion, the workload, bureaucracy, behavior concerns, lack of parent involvement, and pure exhaustion of balancing it all, lead me to a breaking point. I was such an energy vampire. Life at that time was an uphill battle. My health was affected by this constant stress and frustration. I needed to do something different. Otherwise, my life was in jeopardy. Finally, it was the doctor's metrics that helped me to realize I must change my outlook on life. I am sharing my testimonial because it gives a story as to why I decided to do something different. I tried multiple mental health activities, self-help strategies, and mindfulness e...

We get to choose our outlook on life. If you want a peek into someone's outlook on life, visit their Facebook page or Twitter feed. After a quick stroll, you will learn if they like horses, remodeling homes, taking millions of pictures of their kids, or being health-conscious. Every other post or tweet will be synonymous with how they perceive life from their viewpoints. How we live our lives entails a series of thought processes, beliefs, and an overall mindset. So what does living a positive life entail? I am glad you asked. Living a positive life requires some daily habits. Habits such as: having a positive attitude and taking actions focus on solutions and not the problems a focused effort on improving you not be so judgemental by focusing on good traits in people, not just flaws began the day with gratefulness  A positive mindset is definitely not about material things or possessions. This idealism of positivity will help improve our lives. Thus, we will be happier and lessen ...

According to researchers Zarghuna Naseem and Ruhi Khalid (2010), we must make looking positively at life a priority because stress can be less threatening. Moreover, how do we go about living a positive life? A question we all should ponder. Busy lives cause our daily tasks to be challenging and tiresome. We must look at how to incorporate routines that increase our focus on elevating our mental health. An occasional book, walk, mediation, or hobby is not enough.  Positive thinking increases the ability to deal with stressors effectively and causes many successful health outcomes. Let us elevate our practices in our daily routines to plan how to live a life that provides moments of happiness. We must restructure our lives in ways that allow for a stream of positive emotions and experiences. Most of us want to be around to see our children have children. We exercise our bodies to be physically fit. It is equally important to train our brains to handle stress by being intentionally p...